Alienable Rights
political satire
6
Covfefe
“YO! WE MADE IT, sista!” Cece called from the front seat. “Where should I go?”
Ohna groaned. Austin finally let go of a powerful stream into her cunt. She and Cece had switched places again near Wichita, Kansas and Ohna had only managed a little more than an hour with Austin’s meat in her. He was amazed that he’d had anything to give her after Cece had milked him for close to two hours, but Ohna had kept him up with incredibly sensual movements in her pussy that had brought out this spray of more than he thought his body could produce.
“What time is it, baby?” Ohna asked. Austin struggled to look at a non-existent watch.
“Six-thirty,” Cece responded.
“There’s a little place called Sarah Lee’s Diner on Second Street at Kansas Street. It opens at six for locals to fuel up. That’s where we’ll meet up with my friends at seven,” Ohna said.
“You mean people get up at six?” Cece exclaimed. “I’ve never seen the dawn from that side. Usually if I’m up at six, I haven’t been to bed yet. Or at least to sleep.”
She was feeling incredibly lively for all she’d been through the previous night. She’d had that nasty Bobby Bill follow her to her house and fuck her, then get mad when she demanded he pay her and he shot her. Then an undocumented immigrant showed up at the house and healed her, then copied her look so perfectly she wanted to fuck her. They’d driven up to Oklahoma City where they picked up Austin and half an hour later, she’d been folded nearly in half while he fucked her in the back seat. She’d taken over driving again while Ohna did the same thing in the back seat. And Austin looked like he was ready to go at it again!
As good as she felt, though, it would be even better if this Sarah Lee had decent coffee.
She spotted a coin-op car wash and pulled the Mustang in there before heading downtown to the diner.
“Kitty needs a quick wash before we head to the diner,” Cece said. “Get the road dust out of her.”
They piled out of the car and saw Cece stripping. They’d misunderstood ‘Kitty’ to be what she called the car. Ohna and Austin stripped, too. Cece did spray down the car to get three states’ worth of dust off it, but then they took turns spraying each other down and cleaning the kitties.
It was great fun, but they had to get to the diner. They used a roll of paper towel Cece had in the back of the Mustang to dry themselves off, then got dressed again. Looking like a bunch of fresh Texas kids, they headed for the diner.
It seemed like a lot of people were headed that direction. Sarah Lee’s was a popular place in the morning. Everyone in the diner was wearing a costume of some kind—often with a mask. Longview went all out for Halloween. From somewhere, Ohna produced a bonnet with a stylized red cross on it. It had points at the ends of each of the arms.
“What’s that for? I thought we were just dressing up as ourselves,” Austin asked.
“Yeah, mostly. I have to have a way for my people to recognize me. I’m a medic. There’s sure to be some injuries, someone who tried to eat something they saw a cow eating, or someone having a panic attack and letting her tentacles show. They need to know who to go to.”
“Tentacles?” Austin asked. “You were, like, completely naked in the ’Stang. I didn’t see any tentacles.”
“Just remember what your dick felt like when it was inside me,” Ohna answered. “It wasn’t just pussy muscles getting you that hard.”
“Oh, shit. And you… stuck a finger up my butt,” he croaked.
“Sort of.”
Ohna grinned at him and he blushed red.
They found a booth in the diner with two other people already in it, but they made room for the three to crowd in with them.
“Meta. Nina. These are my friends, Austin and Cece. You might have noticed, Cece and I are twins. I had a rocky road getting here after Orin bounced me out of the shuttle in Texas.”
“Ohna? I was expecting a little Dutch girl like Nina,” Meta said, pointing at his companion.
“You know what they say: No plan’s a good plan. Anyway, I’m here. Have we got any injury reports?” Ohna asked.
“Orin’s shuttle finally landed in a cornfield just outside of town. A few of the ones who got tossed from the shuttle in Texas but got back in were pretty banged up. And one proved to be allergic to corn. Kept fading in and out of his human body and showing his tentacles all swollen. We sent him back to the ship. How about you?” Meta asked.
“When I stumbled on Cece, she’d just been shot,” Ohna said. “She’s fine now. Austin was a little malnourished, but mostly he was just horny.”
“You’ve always been good at curing that,” Nina laughed.
“Cece and Austin, you can close your mouths now. I told you we were invading. You’re going to meet a lot of us, you know,” Ohna said. “This is Meta and Nina. We decided to make the diner our first aid station. We don’t expect much serious, but we have to be prepared.”
“I’m cool with it,” Cece said. “It’s just that you guys look so normal. I mean like regular people.”
“We plan to stay this way, at least until everyone is established and used to seeing us around. You know, this way people will continue to believe it’s all a hoax.”
“I’m a believer,” Austin said. “What do you want us to do?”
“Have breakfast,” Ohna said. “Things will get busy later. It’s a great subterfuge to have humans and aliens working together. We’ll need you to help handle traffic in and out. Our intelligence says most of the farmers and locals here show up about eight-thirty or nine. Folks who have to go to the city for work are the early ones. If there are scuffles, try to stay out of them. I don’t want to have to patch you two up. We have some unfinished business to attend to later!”
Harlan and Millie got to West-By-God Virginia in record time and Harlan started navigating south of Wheeling by instinct, not even trying to recall the chicken-scratched map he’d originally followed. He just let his muscle memory respond to the curves and turns and soon saw the two tire-tracks into the woods. He started to turn in when he saw the backwoods ho standing in the middle of the track with her shotgun.
“Friends!” Harlan yelled, jumping out of the SUV and waving his arms.
“You!” she yelled. “I won’ed who pickin’ m’up.” She spat out a wad of what Harlan could only hope was tobacco, then continued in a clear voice. “Okay! Pretty lady up front with you. We’ll have some fun on our way.”
“Where are we going?” Harlan asked.
“West. Just got the coordinates after they picked up the president,” she said pointing skyward.
“Who picked up the president?” Millie demanded with her head out the window.
“Aliens,” Harlan and the ho answered together. She laughed and got in the back seat.
“Head up to I-70 and floor it,” she said. “We’ve got to get to Longview, Kansas and if you obey the speed limits, it’s thirteen hours. We need to be there in eleven.”
Millie felt a hand slide across her shoulder, headed toward her breast.
“I’m Rina. What’s your name, cutie?”
“Uh… Millie. Harlan, stop and let me get in back with Rina,” Millie said as Rina caressed her breast. She glanced down at the tentacle wrapped around her left nipple. “Right damn now, Harlan!”
Harlan slammed on the brakes and Millie was out the front door and into the back door, wrapped in Rina’s warm and sensual grip. Harlan just shook his head and pressed the accelerator. By the time he reached I-70, Millie and Rina were both naked.
“Covfefe,” the president muttered as he settled onto the golden throne in the new Air Force One bathroom. “Covfefe.”
No one believed him when he was in office the first time. Thought he was crazy. Well, meeting up with goddam aliens will make anyone a little crazy. Now they were back.
He flushed and went into the office, where he sat behind a luxurious rosewood desk, studded with diamonds. Or Rhinestones. Whatever. This office was much better suited to him than the Ovaltine office. It was nice of the Covfefe to arrange the gift from Qatar. They wanted him to be housed in appropriate luxury.
“Bela!” he yelled. The personal assistant on Air Force One hustled into his office from a side room where she was always available. The young woman came as a gift with the airplane. Young! She insisted she was well over eighteen, but she looked so young even Jeffrey would have wanted her.
“Oh, Mr. President,” Bela said. “You look so stressed out. Has it been a hard day? Let Bela take care of all your needs.”
There was more than one reason he didn’t want the first lady or his son on this flight. Bela loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. Her hands were like magic. He hadn’t had a hard-on in six years until Bela arrived. Now he was already feeling the wood arising. All he had to do was sit there and Bela would take care of everything else.
“Mr. President, due to the nature of our emergency, we are going radio silent and are turning off the transponder to conceal your location,” the pilot said over a speaker on the president’s desk. “We will be jamming radar as well.”
“Is it that bad?” the president asked. “Well, don’t just sit there doing nothing! Make it so!”
He chuckled to himself. He’d always wanted to turn to his Number One and use that line. Of course, the vice president wasn’t competent to take that order. He barely kept order in the Senate. And just now, he was carrying a very personal message to the Russians, offering to split the spoils of a conquered Ukraine.
Bela got his trousers unfastened and was doing wonderful things to him. Oh, yes. Wonderful.
The pilot radioed his intent and suddenly vanished out of sight as far as ground control was concerned. The president glanced out the window at the Navy fighter flight accompanying him. It made him feel secure. He wondered how the old fighters were able to keep up with the new jet. A moment later, he fell asleep at his desk. Bela picked him up and tossed him on his bed. That task was done. The twenty office and cabinet members who had managed to keep up with him as he fled the White House and sixteen of the twenty-six crew on the plane also dropped off to sleep right where they were on the plane.
And then the plane disappeared from American airspace.
“There’s a spike in use of the AI chat apps,” reported Xota on the alien mothership.
“Move another hundred personnel to the response lines. All general dummy responses. If conversations become too intense, claim system overload,” Zeta said. Having her people acting as artificial intelligence chat engines had been one of the best moves she’d made in the past decade of preparing for the landing. The chatbots launched by the big social media weren’t nearly as sophisticated as people thought they were. They’d been chatting with aliens all this time.
“Air Force One and Flight 19 are arriving in the flight bay in three minutes,” Haro said. “I’m going down to meet the team. Anyone else want to go?”
“I’d like to tag along,” Darrell said. “I’ve just got to see that monstrosity he accepted from the Qatari.”
“Well, it was delivered by Qatar but we’d actually set it up. Put every little twist in it we could to appeal to his ego. It’s actually equipped with our own navigation and propulsion system. Disguising those as standard equipment was the hardest part. We promised the president he could have the plane when we were done with the takeover.”
“You mean he’s in on it?” Darrell asked.
“Not that he knows,” Haro said. “We made the agreement and then erased his memory of it. Still had a couple things slip out. The guy’s brain has so much miscellaneous garbage in it that it’s a wonder he remembers to breathe. He was pretty easy to convince. The plane and a dozen fifteen-year-old beauty pageant contestants to do his bidding.”
“Hey, wait!” Janelle said. “We aren’t going to be a party to kidnapping young girls into sexual slavery for that dirty old man!”
“No. Don’t worry, honey,” Haro said. “It wasn’t hard to get volunteers from our people to take on the shape of young girls. There isn’t one of the volunteers who’s younger than a hundred years old. Half of them aren’t even female.”
“They’re trans?” Janelle asked.
“No. Gender is always kind of fluid for us. It’s about time you ate my pussy and felt Zeta’s sex tentacle grow in you.”
“Oh, that’s fine then. Darrell, have you had Zeta’s sex tentacle?”
“You bet. Makes me wish we were gender fluid. I’d love to have a pussy and have you stick your dick in me.”
“We’ll have to figure out a way. After we get your wife and secretary tamed.”
Once the behemoth airplane was in the flight bay parked next to DCA1427 and Flight 19, they approached to watch crew members who were unloading the sleeping passengers. A couple dozen other aliens were standing by to strip and examine each of the sleeping passengers. Then they morphed into the shapes, reading memories and dressing in the removed clothing. Darrell thought he recognized the alien dressing as president, but it was still hard for him to tell one alien from another if they weren’t in human form. They all looked alike. It was worse than trying to tell one Asian from another in a crowd.
“Well, Darrell, are you ready to take on your new duties as Secretary of State?” the new president asked. Darrell glanced over at the table where the sleeping president was still stretched out naked to be sure it was the alien.
“Yes, sir. I’ve studied the role and have memorized my lines. I used to be a bit of a thespian, you know. Acted in high school plays and even in a couple musicals in college,” Darrell said.
“Good, good. Just do as you’re told and we’ll get along great.”
“I didn’t see the first lady get off the plane,” Janelle said.
“Can you believe the guy left her and his son asleep in the White House?” Zeta asked. “Works out better this way. The old prez can wake up to his harem of teeny-boppers and we’ll fly the first lady in to be with her new husband tomorrow. Life is about to get much better for her.”
“Where are you going to store the president?” Darrell asked. “I mean the old president.”
“We are people of our word,” Haro said. “The reason we created this plane, is because we have a suite on the mothership that is an exact duplicate. We’ll move him to it with his bevy of beauties and he’ll discover his entire plane is filled with girls for him to seduce, starting with Bela, the attendant who will wake him up.”
“I’m amazed you’ve found so many people willing to have sex with the old goat,” Janelle said.
“We have people willing to have sex with every person on earth if they could,” Zeta said. “That’s why your job as secretary of sex education is so important. We just need to boost the sex drive of humans a little to make them more receptive.”
“Is that what you did to me?” Janelle asked as one of the president’s tentacles slithered up her leg.
“No, dear. You and Darrell were naturals.”
“Yeh gotta come out and see this,” Lyle said in the diner at eight o’clock. “Perfect circle burned right in the middle of the corn maze.”
“How’d you just happen to discover that this morning?” Bert asked.
“Strange doings last night,” Lyle said. “Kept seein’ a kind of glow flashing by. Thought I was having one of those stroke things. This morning, I had Brett fire up the tractor and we went out to take a look. Perfect crop circle in the middle of that corn maze.”
“Did I see Brett drop you off this morning?” one of the regulars asked. “What’s he doing driving the tractor into town?”
“Well, we had it fired up. I told the kid he might as well get started with his hayride early and pick kids up for school. They get so damned excited at Halloween.”
“True that. With all the news of aliens shooting each other in congress this morning, I’ll come take a look at your crop circle. Maybe they’ve decided to invade Longview,” Bert said. Everyone laughed, but they all headed outside to catch Brett and his hay wagon on the next trip by.
“This is perfect!” Ohna said to Austin and Cece. “Catch that wagon. Stick with it and encourage this Brett kid to spend the day picking people up and taking them around. We’ll need transportation when the president arrives this evening. Might as well use it to move people around during the day.”
“People?” Austin said.
“A few hundred of us landed last night, but we didn’t bring cars. Everybody’s got to get used to their jobs.”
“Got it,” Cece said. “Come on, lover. Let’s go for a hayride.”
Austin and Cece left with the group to go see the crop circle.
