Soulmates
7
Senior Moments
Jaime and Emerson
WHEN CLASSES STARTED in the fall, Jaime was pretty proud to be a senior. He’d already begun making applications to colleges where he could continue his computer science study and also explore some of the psychological aspects of mental communication. It looked like he wouldn’t need to go far from home as both Oregon and Washington had schools with great programs.
He was happy to have his friend Emerson back in his advanced computer science class and she was intrigued with the improvements he’d made on his text to speech engine. The voice was unique and the intonations were clear and insightful.
“How did you manage to get the voice to sound so natural?” Emerson asked. “I’ve never heard a text to speech app sound like a person was actually speaking.”
“Music,” Jaime typed on his computer. The voice was a little loud, so he reduced the volume. He didn’t want to disturb other classmates. “I like classical music and I discovered that Wagner intended to be a dramatist, but was unhappy with how actors interpreted his words. So, he wrote music for them and became a great operatic composer.”
“So, you set it all to music? It isn’t singing.”
“No. I just used notes to indicate relative tone and length. Then I fed it a few hundred phrases and sentences. I had it read the entire Dark Love series aloud so I could tune the voice. It probably has a more romantic sound to it than is strictly necessary,” Jaime typed.
“I like it. It’s really… sexy. Nice job. What do you plan for this year’s project?” Emerson asked.
“Mr. Perkins kind of shot down my idea as needing more research than could be accomplished in this class,” Jaime said. The computer voice sounded sheepish and Emerson was amazed at that.
“What was it?”
“I’m interested in people being able to speak to each other mentally,” he typed.
“Mental telepathy?”
“Technically, all telepathy is mental. But Mr. Perkins pointed out that people have tried and failed to do it for years.”
“It’s a cool idea, but I guess I see his point.”
“Besides, last year’s major project was mine. This year we should focus on a project you choose,” Jaime typed.
“Oh. Well, I had a really great time in Paris this spring and summer. You know I’m kind of into fashion,” Emerson said.
That was something that couldn’t be told from her looks, Jaime thought. She was a nice-looking girl, but always dressed in kind of shapeless clothing, wore no makeup that he could tell, and seemed to have no sense of style at all. He was surprised when she opened her bag and pulled out a stack of fashion magazines, some in English and some in French.
“When you look at these magazines, you see that a major theme all the way through is predicting what will be in style in the next season. Some of them follow the big style advances from the major designers and runway shows, while others are more localized or seasonal. My grandmother said that when she was a girl, ‘in’ meant ‘in the JC Penney catalog.’ But I think I could use AI predictive algorithms to predict things like the most popular color for next year.”
“Cool! I’m in.”
Jaime and The Voice
Even though Jaime had conceded the idea of his thought broadcasting software as too complicated for his computer science class, it still fascinated him and he continued to work on it—mostly at home. He wanted to either broadcast thoughts through the synthesizer, or awaken the inner ear of someone so they could hear his thoughts.
He had a favorite tree on the school grounds that was located far enough from where most students hung out that he often went there with his lunch. It had been a fairly mild fall, so he decided to put on his jacket and go there, even though it was near the end of October and getting chilly. He settled under the tree and opened the notebook in which he was keeping track of his ideas to explore for mental communication. He didn’t think anyone could make sense of his writing since he still used the elegant Spencerian script that only a few of his classmates could read.
He’d decided there might be an element of actual physical contact involved in mental communication, as he was touching his mother when she spoke to him just before she died.
«Be quiet! You’re broadcasting your thoughts all over. Anyone could hear you. Stop thinking so loud!»
Jaime slammed his book shut as though someone was reading over his shoulder. He recognized that voice. She had once told him not to believe people’s fantasies.
«Who are you?» he thought frantically. «Where are you?»
Only silence answered.
Keira and Aunt Rose
“Need to talk. Coming from school,” Keira texted Aunt Rose. She boarded the crosstown bus from in front of the school and shut herself off from the world. She was pretty good at that now. She could usually go a whole day in school without being consciously aware of anyone’s thoughts.
Unless that boy was shouting. She couldn’t believe the whole city didn’t hear him.
There were kids in school who talked loudly with their mouths all the time. She wondered sometimes if they had a hearing problem and couldn’t tell how loudly they spoke. They could be heard across the cafeteria at lunch. If they whispered to the person next to them in class, everyone in the room could hear them.
This guy, Zipper Lips, was like that in her head. If she stopped to think about him in school, she could hear him over all the others in the building. She’d had two classes with him and had sworn not to ever speak mentally to him.
But he was so stupid! How could he possibly have thought it was a good idea to ask a girl out just because she had a momentary fantasy about his tentacle dick. Keira had been irrationally upset about that and yelled at him. Then realizing what she’d done, she quickly shut down her inner voice and ears. She’d promised herself never to do that again.
Until today. He was actually working on a computerized thought amplifier that could force other people to hear his thoughts. What a catastrophe that would be! If he could force his thoughts on someone, they’d be as torn up and confused as she’d been when she first got her inner ears. That was her term for being able to listen to other people’s thoughts.
Being able to listen. Hah! More like being forced to listen. What a terrible time that had been.
Her first menstrual cycle and all of a sudden, she was hearing voices. She thought she was going crazy! She couldn’t tell her mother. She’d either pooh-pooh the whole idea, or she’d rush Keira to a doctor. Her only logical choice was to talk to crazy Aunt Rose. If Aunt Rose told anyone Keira could hear other people’s thoughts, no one would pay any attention. Aunt Rose was a psychiatrist.
She wasn’t her ‘real’ aunt. At least neither Keira’s mother or father claimed her as a sister. But they’d been friends forever and Keira grew up calling her Aunt Rose. When it came to getting advice about hearing voices in her head, there was no one better to talk to than Aunt Rose.
Aunt Rose’s house was peaceful, too. Keira wasn’t sure, but she thought it might have something to do with the aluminum siding. She just knew that when she went into the house, it was quiet. There were no voices in her head, and Aunt Rose was like a blank. Keira’s parents had once laughed about Rose, saying she didn’t have a thought in her head. Keira could verify that. She could not read anything from her aunt.
“Hearing voices? Hmm. That’s an interesting side effect of getting your first period. Let’s have a little tea and talk about it.” No judgment. No panic. Just acceptance and a cup of tea.
While neither acknowledging nor denying that Keira heard people’s thoughts, Aunt Rose had taught Keira how to block them out and how to keep her own thoughts from being read by others. Keira was terribly afraid of that because she often had ‘uncharitable’ thoughts about other people. She didn’t need them hearing those thoughts.
Like that stupid boy. She’d told him to stop broadcasting so loudly and he’d answered her! It wasn’t like he couldn’t hear others, but he almost got her name before she managed to shut him out.
Keira got off the bus a block from her aunt’s house and hurried to the door. Rose let her in immediately. Everything went silent.
“Hearing voices again?” Rose asked as soon as they sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea.
“Yeah,” Keira said.
“Did you do the exercises I taught you?”
“Yes. They usually work just fine, but this one boy was shouting. He always shouts,” Keira said. She stirred a full teaspoon of sugar into her bitter tea.
“Hmm. Lonely people often do that,” Rose said. “They get louder and louder to get people’s attention. Maybe not anyone in particular, but anyone. Have you met him?” She offered Keira a tin of cookies and Keira grinned as she took three.
“Sort of. I had a class with him last year and have one with him this year. He doesn’t know me, though. I’ve just shut him out. But I yelled at him today and told him to stop broadcasting so loudly. It’s dangerous.”
“How so?”
“He’s really smart. I know I said he’s stupid, but that’s only about people. Last year, he created a text to speech application for his computer and the voice sounds pretty normal. But now he’s trying to figure out how to force other people to hear his thoughts.”
“That sounds sinister.”
“I think… I believe he’s benign. But if someone who wasn’t got hold of his invention… Do you think someone could force another person to do something by talking in his head?” Keira paused with a soggy cookie halfway to her mouth as she contemplated the idea.
“According to Psychiatry Professional magazine, around 10% of people hear voices in their heads at some time or another. About half have an active inner dialog. Some portion of the remainder—number unspecified—can’t identify inner dialog and believe someone else is speaking to them. That is often malicious. Do you remember Dottie Brown? She’s doing okay now as long as she stays on her meds. She caused a serious accident a few years ago when a voice in her head told her to turn her car the wrong way on a freeway exit. Several people, including Dottie, were rushed to hospitals after the collision and one died. That evidence suggests that an unknown voice could plant a malevolent thought in a person’s mind.”
“I’m not paranoid about it, but I believe there are people in the world who would use that ability to try to get people to do things against their will,” Keira said cautiously. “I think I met one once.”
“Oh, if such technology were truly available, I would guess that every government in the world would be trying to get hold of it, and they’d be outbid by every billionaire,” Rose laughed. She made light of it, but Keira could see her shiver.
“I think I should meet him,” Keira sighed.
“You spoke to him about it?”
“Not yet. But he’s so hungry to meet someone like him. I think maybe I could show him some of the ways you taught me to control my own mind.”
“Ah. I see. Well, if he is open to the idea, I don’t see that it would hurt. Just take care of yourself first. Don’t take him to a secret meeting place without letting someone know where you are. You know how to protect yourself.”
“Yeah. I don’t think I need to worry about him. He’s mute.”
“You don’t say! That is an interesting thing. Deaf?”
“No. People talk to him and he uses sign language to communicate. That’s why his text to speech app was so cool. It was the first time he’s been able to participate in class without an interpreter.”
“You kind of admire him, don’t you?” Aunt Rose said as she cleared the teacups from the table and put them in the dish washer.
“Um… I… Maybe… a little. I don’t really know him that well. There’s something about him. He seems to have a few good friends and there are others who just automatically seem to trust him. Not everyone. There are plenty of kids who just think he’s weird. Some are jealous, I think. You know, you hear a lot of things in the school halls. Even when you aren’t listening.” Keira stood and gathered her coat and school pack.
“I see. Let me know how it goes. If he has trouble controlling voices in his head, I might be able to cook up some more exercises.”
“Thanks, Aunt Rose. You always make me feel better. Sort of normal,” Keira said as she hugged her aunt.
“Well, as long as you are only sort of normal and don’t take it to extremes, I guess that’s okay.”
The two looked at each other and spluttered in laughter. Keira went home to a late dinner. When she told her parents she stopped to see Aunt Rose, they asked no more questions.
Keira and Jaime
In fact, Keira had been watching Jaime since school started in August. She’d seen some pretty remarkable things. One of the school’s star athletes, Gene Evans, had approached Jaime at lunch one day. One never knew how a jock was going to respond to a quiet and rather isolated kid and Keira steeled herself to rush to the rescue if it was necessary. This one was okay. He called Zipper by name and asked if he could join him for lunch. Zip had been alone in his corner of the cafeteria, much like Keira stayed alone in the corner she’d selected. Keira was curious about the conversation because it didn’t look like the athlete could sign, but he wanted to talk to Jaime.
“Hey, Zip. I know you can hear but not talk. Seems kind of strange, but I’m good with that. I’m afraid I don’t read sign language, but you really don’t need to say anything. This guy I know, Mex… um… Juan, said if something was bothering me, I could always talk to you and know it wouldn’t go any further. Is that okay?”
Jaime nodded at him and made a gesture that was interpreted as ‘go ahead.’
“Remember Mike Collins? You might not have known him because he was a year ahead of us. He died last year. Stupid jerk got kicked in the head by a horse. God, I hated him. I know, I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but the bastard stole my girlfriend. And when he died, she couldn’t do anything but talk about how wonderful he was. I wanted to kill him.”
Gene fell silent and focused on the unidentified meat of the day. Jaime just listened, but Keira knew he was reading more than what Gene was saying verbally. She couldn’t read Gene from this distance, but she could listen to Jaime. Nothing that went into his mind wasn’t shouted out.
Gene had actually plotted a way to kill Mike. The hatred made Jaime cringe.
“Don’t ever fall in love, man. He totally ruined a good thing between Shelly and me. I didn’t just want to kill him. I’d decided I’d do it. Damn horse got to him first. It’s not that I’m upset because he’s dead. It’s just that I still keep imagining that I killed him. I can’t shake the feeling that my hatred just somehow spilled out and a horse executed my desire. I didn’t do it! If I had, maybe I’d feel better about it. I just can’t get rid of the feeling that I wanted to kill him and now he’s dead. It’s my fault.”
Gene stared at his empty plate, wondering when he’d eaten the food. Jaime put a hand on the big athlete’s shoulder and gave a squeeze. Keira could hear him speaking in his head to Gene, even though he couldn’t be heard.
«You didn’t do it. You don’t have to live in guilt. Let go of it. There’s nothing you could have done.»
Keira wished Gene wasn’t head deaf and could hear how calm and encouraging Jaime was. Maybe he got a little of the message from that squeeze on his shoulder. Perhaps there was something to Jaime’s theory that contact opened channels.
“Anyway, thanks, man. I know I brought a bunch of shit to the table. I appreciate you listening. I just had to… tell someone. Just… um… forget I ever said anything, okay?”
Gene got up and left the table, clearing his tray and Jaime’s. Jaime continued to sit there, quietly crying inside over the hurt the athlete had shared with him. He wished he’d spoken, but knowing that if he ever spoke, no one would come to him like that again. Besides, if he’d spoken, Gene might have died.
Keira sensed it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. She did admire Jaime a little.
«I’m on your left,» Keira thought to Jaime as she approached his tree. He immediately turned to his right, where she actually was. «Sorry. Had to make sure you were really hearing me.»
«You’re like me!» Jaime shouted in his mind.
«Shh. You’re broadcasting everywhere. Others could hear.»
She sat on the ground across from him, aware of his scanning of her appearance. Maybe she shouldn’t have worn such nice clothes today. But she found she wanted to look nice when she met him for the first time. He paused in his assessment to watch her breasts rise and fall before shaking his head and signing, “Hi.”
«I’m sorry. I’m so used to shouting, trying to get anyone to hear me that I got carried away. I’m eighteen years old and have never had anyone answer me.»
«I thought so. That’s why your thoughts are so loud. You’re used to no one hearing them. You’re like all the other students, but louder. You don’t have any filters. Thank you for thinking I’m… pretty.»
Jaime clamped down on all his thoughts and focused on a blade of grass. His thoughts weren’t all just that she was pretty.
«I’m sorry,» he whispered in his mind.
«Don’t go away. We need to talk. I’m used to what boys think. I guess you know what girls think, too. You thinking about my boobs was pretty tame, compared to most guys.»
«I’ve heard some pretty gross things. I try not to think about people like that—except sometimes when I’m alone. You took me by surprise. Are we really having this conversation?»
«Yeah. We should probably make some signs to each other so people don’t think we’re just having a stare-down.»
“You’re in my English lit class first period, aren’t you?” he signed.
“Yeah. I think we had the same physics class last year,” she signed.
«Why didn’t I ever notice you?»
«I try to stay invisible. If there’s no noise coming from your brain, no one will notice you’re there.»
“Eighteen years old and I just met you,” he signed. Inside he continued, «I’ve never met anyone like us.»
“Did you get the assignment for lit? I’d like to borrow it,” she signed. «Don’t be too sure of that. It’s a big school. There are others. Most are just voyeurs and hang around eavesdropping. A lot of them don’t even believe what they’re hearing is more than their imagination. You were more obvious because you never use your out-loud voice.»
«Do you?» Jaime quickly signed that he’d get the assignment for her and asked for her number.
“That was clever,” she said, while texting him. «Yeah. I’d been talking all my life until I started hearing people’s thoughts. I couldn’t just stop talking. I just put a cap on broadcasting my thoughts. I don’t think anyone in school knows I can head talk.»
«When you started? Didn’t you always?»
«No. It happened… um… you know… when I became a woman. When did it start for you?»
«Always. I mean, I never talked at all because I thought everyone could hear me like I could hear them. Then…» Jaime broke the thought, trying not to think of the day his mother died.
“You okay?” she signed.
“Yeah, thanks.” He went on with his thought. «The only time I ever used my out-loud voice, my mother died.»
«Oh, God! That’s awful!»
«So, I never used my out-loud voice again. I think I’ve forgotten how.»
«Oh, Jaime, I’m so sorry!»
«It’s okay. I’ve never told anybody.»
The class bell rang and they headed inside the school.
“Let’s talk again tomorrow,” Keira signed.
“I’d like that,” he signed back.
“You can text me later, too,” she whispered.
When Keira got home, she already had a text from Jaime. She looked at it hesitantly, but it was only the English lit assignment, which, of course, she already had. Then her phone was silent for the rest of the afternoon. She wondered if he was going to ghost her and just disappear.
Her phone vibrated just after nine.
“I enjoyed meeting you today. Same time tomorrow?” Jaime texted.
“It was fun. See you at the tree. Figure a plan from there,” Keira responded.
“Plan?”
“Somewhere we can talk”
“OK”
“Nite”
“Nite”
Please feel free to send comments to the author at devon@devonlayne.com.
